On Saturday, my phone rang at 9:38am, and I knew it was bio mom calling with news regarding the big reveal to her (my) family that I had found her. I had a feeling that she would be calling, and I had a feeling that on the other end would be my brothers and sister, and I was correct! I got to speak with each one of them, which was amazing, and I also got to speak with my sister-in-law. I will be labelling them as such: BD, Texas, and Sissy. So now you know!
I was on the phone with the four of them for almost an hour, and JI even talked to BD for a little bit. I was surprised and happy that the conversation flowed so easily. My mom had always told me that they might not be interested in me because they wouldn’t want to share their mother or would be afraid that I would steal her away from them. Well, reality could not be further from that line of thought. All three siblings have been completely welcoming, totally loving, and absolutely so excited to get to know me. Texas has so far been the most open and in contact, calling me nearly every day and texting me all the time. He even dropped the L-Bomb, as in “I love you”, on me on Mother’s Day!
My whole life, I was nervous that I would be rejected for the reasons mentioned above. I always wanted more siblings, but I never thought I would have them – and I certainly never thought they would be so incredibly awesome right off the bat! I told Texas that it has been so strange for me so far, because I am not used to having so much unconditional love thrown my way. He said “You’re my sister. There’s no other choice.” I cried.
Lola and Lulu came over on Saturday night for pizza and playtime, and it was very nice. JI still struggles with playing with other kids, but he loves Lulu, and we all had a good time. We even took a walk to the park and played at the playground! Lulu helped feed Squeaks, and we very proud of herself for being a good big sister. I love it!
Sunday we went to my parents’ house for lunch and to celebrate Mother’s Day. For my mom, mil, and bio mom I had the boys make a flower and butterfly painting with their handprints and footprints, and we got them a card and flowers as well. I got a $25 card to Michael’s! Yay! Craft time! Poke got me a DeWalt drill and professional bit set – don’t worry, it was exactly what I wanted, and I even put it in the Amazon cart so all he had to do was click. I love power tools! I have to admit that I was kinda bummed that I didn’t get a card or anything personal from Poke or the boys, because a little surprise would have been nice, but I guess that’s my own fault for not telling him I wanted that. We had sloppy joes and mac’n’cheese at my parents’, which are two of my favorite foods that my mom makes. We sat around and relaxed, and it was just very nice. We talked a little bit about bio mom/bio family, but I kept it to a minimum because I didn’t want any arguments or negativity on Mother’s Day.
When we got home, I called bio mom. It was around 8:30pm, and we’d talked for a few minutes before I had to run to the store. Poke took the boys to his mom’s house to drop off her gifts, and so I could have some quiet to talk on the phone. Well, bio mom and I ended up being on the phone for about five hours. We didn’t hang up until about 1:30am! She told me all about herchildhood and growing up, she told me about the circumstances surrounding my conception, birth, and adoption, and confirmed that BD and I are, in fact, full brother and sister! YAY! Fullsies!
I found out a few surprising bits of information, such as bio mom knew my name for years, and had even been following my
old restaurant review blog, Little Plastic Spoons. Bio mom had also been in contact a few times over the years with my mom, which was both comforting and irritating to me. I was comforted because I had always wondered if bio mom knew I was okay, and I never knew if she knew I was okay, and now I knew that she did know. I was irritated because my mom hid it from me, and even though I’m pretty sure I understand why, I don’t think it was fair to me. Why couldn’t she have let me know her earlier? Especially when my health issues started popping up, especially when I needed my health history, which is all I wanted prior to this? I feel like she was being selfish and trying to keep me all to herself.
That did come up between my mom and I on Sunday, and she said, “Well, I’m just happy she (bio mom) doesn’t live here. She’d want to be over all the time and visiting and seeing the kids.” Uh… and? She is my bio mom. She’s not going to take anything away from my mom. I’ve reassured my mom of this fact a million times in my life, and yet she still has to be insecure and almost bitter about it. It really hurts me that she can’t easily let me have a relationship with both of them. She’s my mom, she raised me, she put in the time and effort and pain and tears and everything. I’m not just going to drop her! First of all, I’m not that type of person, to drop one for another. Second, that is probably one of the most hurtful scenarios I can imagine, which makes it even more painful to think that she thinks I would do it to her. As one of my readers commented, why is it okay for parents to love multiple children but not okay for children to love multiple parents?
In the end, Mother’s Day was very happy for me. I can’t wait to meet my bio family, I can’t wait to hug them and kiss them and introduce them to my husband and my sons. I can’t wait for family picnics and BBQs and all that good stuff that comes with a big family. I just can’t wait to see how this all develops.