Well, the man I was seeing, the one from Michigan, is no longer. Things just couldn’t work out. He bailed twice on coming to visit me, with possibly legitimate reasons, but that wasn’t the reason I ended it. I just could not continue the long distance thing. I am so beyond stressed right now, to the point where it is making me physically ill, and the last thing I need is to be worrying about someone I’ve never met. I need to take care of myself and the boys.
He was a very nice man, and perhaps if we’d met in person there would have been a better chance. I just don’t have the emotional and mental strength to continue putting energy and effort into something I cannot see, touch, feel, etc. I tried to explain this to him, because he had told me he loved me, but he didn’t understand. No, instead he accused me of getting back with Poke and/or my “fuck buddy”. I didn’t want to hurt him, because I had hoped that we could have a future, but when he said that I realized something: His major insecurities would have ruined the relationship eventually, and I would have found myself in a relationship with someone just like Poke. That’s the last thing I want, especially now. I don’t ever want to be with someone who blames me for everything, who constantly questions my lifestyle or choices, someone who demands that I prop them up while they pull me down. It will not happen again.