In the Thick of It

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It’s been a long time since I posted, and I don’t even know exactly where to begin. The last I left you, I was concentrating on the Year of Me. Well, that has been nearly impossible to accomplish. Poke finally got a job, and now he refuses to take the boys on a regular basis. I have to haggle and negotiate with him every week. So yeah, he is giving me a little bit of child support, but he’s not seeing the kids. This continues to be a no-win situation for everyone except Poke. Typical.

I wish we could move forward with the divorce; unfortunately that is impossible right now thanks to the house having gone into foreclosure. Obviously my Go-Fund me didn’t work, Poke blew his 401k, and I don’t have $8k just lying around. For now we will just live for free until they force us out, but in the meantime we are going to try and file for bankruptcy to see if there is a way we can somehow save the house so that the boys and I don’t have to move and so I can keep my business. That means no divorce until after the bankruptcy is done.

As for the “doing things for myself”, I have been …meh… with that. I slacked off on my diet really badly, but I am trying to adhere via a different route. Instead of completely cutting out all meats, I am cutting out red meat and pork, and sticking to chicken and seafood. A low-purine diet allows for some chicken/seafood, so it’s not even really “breaking the rules”. It’s kind of weird actually, I used to never crave chicken or seafood, and now I do! I have completely lost my taste for beef and pork, except Phillys… I love Phillys… But I digress. Because I’ve been trying to stick to a mostly vegetarian diet, I have gotten back to more creative cooking. I juiced once. It was gross. I’m going to try again now that the weather is warmer and there is more fresh quality produce available. I have done some spiralizing, and actually got rid of 90% of my pasta. I want to do a low-carb thing, just because eating a lot of carbs makes me feel gross, but it’s hard to do on a low-purine diet because I’m supposed to eat 6-11 servings per day. Apparently carbs absorb uric acid, which is one of the goals of this diet. Ugh.

I tried getting into dating, and I still really want to date… Unfortunately it seems that the quality of man just isn’t there anymore. I’ve talked to probably a hundred guys, and I’ve had ONE date. They want sex only. They’re not interested in a girl with kids. They send unwanted dick pics. If I refuse to meet them RIGHT NOW for “a date” (aka sex), they call me names. They plan a date with me, and then never show or I never hear from them after we make a plan. I was talking to a guy for a couple months and I thought it was going somewhere, then he stopped talking to me and I found out he chose someone else over me. I was talking to another guy, he came over and hung out one night, then ghosted. A few weeks later he got ahold of me, apologized, and came over again. When he was leaving, he said “I’ll see you later tonight” and I’ve never heard from him again. The only guy who is consistent is that Marine I told you guys about, JK. At least I know what to expect (or not) from him. Friends have told me to try Match, because I was meeting all the winners on Plenty of Fish, but I don’t know. I feel like paying to meet someone online is the lowest of the low, and I just don’t think I’ve reached that level of pathetic yet.

When I was thinking I might be dating more often, I went ahead and updated my wardrobe a bit. I haven’t lost any weight, but I’m not trying, so that’s fine. I am comfortable with my body for the first time in a long time, and I think it’s because I joined a BBW group on Facebook. There are dudes in there who are legitimately attracted to chicks like me, and that’s amazing. All my life I’ve been taught that no man will be into a fat girl, but I guess it’s not actually true.

So, like the title says, I feel like I am really in the thick of it right now. Some horrible shit is behind me, and there is more horrible shit to come. I cry nearly every day. I had actually gotten back to drinking nearly every night, at least 3-4 nights a week, but as of this Sunday I am stopping that and going back to only drinking on the weekend. As great as the sleep was after a bottle of wine, the sleeping pills accomplish almost the same greatness with zero calories or health risks. I have tried so hard to remove all the negative from my life, including a current sabbatical from Facebook. I had to take a break from all the bullshit. I’ll go back on in a week or so, check things out, and if I’m feeling any toxicity radiating from there, I’m going to be out again. It’s just not worth it.

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Expensive Being Poor

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And the car is off the road but I never had a car. And I pay more for my food ’cause the supermarket’s too far.

It’s expensive being poor because everything costs more, knocking on a closing door, it’s expensive being poor, someone throw me down some crumbs I will eat them off the floor, it’s expensive being poor but I look good when I get desperate.

And the box is on the fritz, it’s a black and white, or was, I tried taking it to bits now the picture’s just a grey fuzz.

It’s expensive being poor because everything costs more, someone pick me off the floor, it’s expensive being poor, how can I live with what I did when the cinema’s six quid? It’s expensive being poor but I look good when I get desperate.

Let the good times roll Into a bottomless hole with job, friends and future my ideal home furniture, let the trumpets sound as my house falls down.

And the dust begins to clear and I’m lying on the ground, and I’m standing on a path in an unknown part of town, and the path leads me away over hills and out of sight, in the blazing sun by day and the hanging moon by night, and I wind up in a place where I never have to count, and I never see the waves as I push my leaking boat out.

It’s expensive being poor because everything hurts more, knocking on a bolted door It’s expensive being poor. Someone throw me down some crumbs I will eat them off the floor, it’s expensive being poor, but I look good when I get desperate.

© TV Smith

Oreo Coal for Christmas

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This is the easiest thing ever!


Oreo Coal

  • 1 box Oreos
  • 1 bag mini marshmallows
  • 1/2 stick butter

Send the Oreos through the food processor until fine. Melt butter + marshmallows in microwave 1 min + 1 min (2 min in a row will make them puff up over the edge!), then fold the Oreo crumbs into the marshmallows/butter. You can flatten out like a bar, roll into balls, or make into coal shapes!

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Philly Steak Chowder

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Sorry I’m a bit late posting this; things have been kind of rough around here lately!

Anyway, I saw a recipe online for this soup, and it sounded pretty good. I didn’t have the ingredients it called for, so I made my own version! The one that inspired me was served in a bread bowl, and I think that’s the only way this could be improved. So tasty and perfect for a cold winter’s day!

Philly Steak Chowder

  • 1 box steakumms
  • 1 bell pepper, any color, thinly  sliced
  • 1/2 white onion, thinly sliced
  • 1T garlic powder
  • 1t black pepper
  • 1/4t salt
  • 1T olive oil
  • 2T flour
  • 2c cold milk

Heat the oil in a large, heavy-bottomed pot. Sautee the peppers and onions until soft but not translucent. Add the steakumms a few slices at a time, cooking thoroughly. Sprinkly the flour over the onion/pepper/beef mixture, and stir until you cannot see the flour. Immediately add the cold milk, stirring quickly. Bring to a boil, then remove from heat, stirring occasionally. Enjoy!

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Low Sodium Challenge

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I went to the doctor on Tuesday because I thought I had an umbilical hernia – turns out, I was correct, and that means surgery. Not happy about that,
but I can deal with it, as I’ve had two successful C-Sections. The really really bad news was that my BP, which is normally incredibly low (we’re talking 110/55 here), has spiked to 142/96. Now, it’s true that I have been more stressed in the past five months since I was at the doctor than ever before. But it’s also true that I have been eating more fast food and processed food than ever before in my entire life. I used to be a 2-3x a week fast/processed food eater, and before this week I’d gotten up to every day, at least one if not two meals per day. Thinking about it, and actually writing it out, makes me feel so gross. I’ve also gained six pounds in the past five months, which is not good at all.

heartSo my doctor told me for the next month, until my appointment on December 28th, I am to follow the DASH Diet. I am tracking my food intake on My Fitness Pal, and I am posting daily photos of my meals to my Facebook in order to hold myself accountable.

Thus far it hasn’t been too bad, 2313mg yesterday on my first try. I’m aiming for 1500mg. I think that once I get all the regular/high sodium foods out of the house, combined with giving up fast foods, I won’t have a problem staying under 2000mg at least. Today is going to be a bad day because I finished up some deli ham and guacamole for breakfast! But as I said on my Facebook post, I’m not going to beat myself up because I feel that giving up fast/processed foods is the biggest key to lowering my BP.

Follow me on My Fitness Pal: Rock_Kowgurl

Follow me on Facebook: Tales of a Play-Date Dropout

Easy Peasy Lemon Pepper Chicken Salad

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I won’t lie, I hate chicken. But every once in awhile I get a craving for chicken salad, and I inevitably make too much. Then I give it away to my neighbors! This recipe is similar to the one I made when I was a chef at the local grocery chain. It’s quick, simple, and makes A LOT.

Lemon Pepper Chicken Salad

  • 3 whole chicken breasts, boneless
  • 1T cumin
  • 1T garlic powder
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  • 2c water
  • 1/2-1c sour cream
  • 1/2-1c mayo
  • 3T lemon pepper seasoning
  • Salt to taste

Cook the chicken + water, cumin, garlic, and cayenne on high in your slow cooker for 4 hours or until internal temp of meat reaches 165F at the fattest part of the breast. Remove from slow cooker, shred while still hot. Cool to 40F within two hours. Once cooled, combine sour cream, mayo, chicken, and lemon pepper seasoning. Start with 1/2 c each sour cream/mayo, add more as needed to desired consistency. I like my salad a little drier because I put it on toast or on a bed of lettuce. Some folks like to dip crackers in it or put it on a wrap, and creamier chicken salad is better for those meals. Plus the chicken will absorb some overnight, and it’s better to have dry chicken salad and add more mayo than to have chicken mayo soup! Salt to taste and enjoy!

Rockin’ Crock Ribs

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I LOVE ribs. I could eat them every day if it wasn’t so expensive! A full rack lasts 3-4 meals for me, but at $13/rack, it’s a lot. And, if JI and/or Squeaks ever decide they want to eat ribs, it’ll be even more. So instead, ribs are a once a month treat. Usually I only make them during the summer, so I can put them on the grill. I was so hungry for ribs the other day that I decided to try something new, and damn, it worked perfectly. I’m pretty proud of myself!

wpid-collage_20151023132541256_20151023132654153.jpgStep one: Put the ribs in the crock pot. I had to fold mine in half.

Step two: Season liberally with chili powder, cumin, garlic powder, salt, onion powder, cayenne, and red pepper flakes.

Step three: Pour in two cans of cranberry pop – I used Diet Cranberry Sierra Mist!

Step four: Cook on low for 6 hours.

Step five: Transfer to sheet pan, carefully. They *may* fall apart.

Step six: Baste with BBQ sauce of your choice – I used Sweet Baby Ray’s!

Step seven: Cook at 400F for one hour. Let rest for 10-15 minutes.

Step eight: ENJOY!