I’m Still Here, I Promise!

Oh my gosh you guys, these have been the busiest two weeks I’ve had in awhile. Squeaks was baptised on the 28th, so I basically spent the whole week leading up to that preparing for the celebration, and the week before that was spent trying to get big projects in the house and yard taken care of so that I wasn’t doing them at the last minute. My backyard and house look great!

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I succeeded in pulling most of the weeds, yay, at least enough to lie down river pebbles and make a nice walkway in the back and fill in the bed in front of our large picture window. I also got the patio furniture painted and arranged, the sidewalk around the shed cleared of weeds, and the front sidewalk cleared of weeds. Inside I rearranged the living room so that the vents are cleared for the air conditioning to blow cold air out (instead of into the bottom of the couch and/or desk!), and cleared a lot of random junk off the kitchen counters and out of the drawers. Thinking back on everything I’ve done around here the past two weeks, I don’t know HOW I got it all done! I think I channeled my inner Wonder Woman.

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In between all of that, we hit up the zoo a few times, played in the pool, and I bought a new bathing suit. I had a one-piece that fits okay, but it’s a halter top with an underwire and it is impossible – literally – for me to get it on by myself unless I’m completely bone dry. If there is one drop of sweat on my skin, it’s over. I went to Lane Bryant and Torrid looking for a plus-size two piece; LB’s were way expensive and not flattering. Luckily I found these top and bottom separates on clearance at Torrid. Yahoo! I’m not afraid of a two piece, but I am afraid of not getting into or out of my bathing suit hahaha this sweet little number calms that fear! Squeaks had his four month checkup and has grown immensely, and even started eating real food – so far, just cereal and spinach, but he loves it. I promise, in the photo, he’s crying because I stopped to take a picture!

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The baptism was a wonderful ceremony. We are Catholic, so it was a bit involved, but it went quickly. I ended up having about thirty people at my house (950 sq ft, thank you!) including family and friends. Overall, everything went off without a hitch and now Squeaks is officially in the Catholic Club.

Woo boy, this summer is going to be a crazy one!

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Trip to the Zoo!

On Being Fat

A friend of mine has recently started a series on her blog about being “The Fat Kid” and the effects it has had on her life. I have to admit that when I read the first installment, I was pretty shocked at the things she had to say, especially in regards to bullying by kids and family members alike.

I, too, have been fat my entire life. Since the age of six, I have been the biggest in the class or in my group of friends. My mom always gave me shit for being fat, but she was never horribly mean about it, and her intentions (though poorly executed) were to motivate me. However, I was never bullied by kids, I was never teased by kids, I never encountered any social issues due to my weight. Sure, over the years there were people who would use my weight to insult me, but I always laughed in their face – “I can lose weight, but you are ugly on the inside!”

I’ve seen the Lifetime movies, I’ve seen the tragic results of bullying, I’ve read all the articles, and I just cannot relate to wpid-collage_20150607224711345_20150607224850097.jpgmost fat people. It seems like they lived a life full of pain and misery, whereas I never let my weight be a “thing” for me, likely because nobody ever made it a “thing”. It isn’t that I like being fat, because it can be a pain in the ass sometimes, like when I wanted to ride this one rollercoaster and I couldn’t fit the belt over my lap, or when I see a really cute shirt but all they have are smalls and mediums. I just don’t care that I’m fat! I am very healthy, I have no weight-related issues, and I can get around just fine. I don’t need a cane or a scooter, I can dress myself, etc. When I was pregnant with Squeaks, I only gained six pounds and lost not only those six, but twenty-three more after that. (Of course I have gained ten back LOL).

My problem with being fat is that trying to not be fat gives me major anxiety, and I have reached the point in my life where anything that makes me stressed automatically goes in the literal or theoretical trash can. When I count calories or log exercise minutes, it makes me panic that I’m going to fail. I become obsessed, I become angry, and I become despondent. I just can’t do life anymore, and I end up starving myself instead of being healthy. But when I don’t put the pressure on, I eat better, I enjoy life, and I don’t stress and obsess every day.

Thus I have decided that I’m not going to do it anymore. I’m just going to live life, love life, and have fun with my family. Even though I believe in reincarnation, I still only get one life in this body, and I’m just going to make the most of what I’ve been given. I can’t let a little thing like a poochy belly get in my way!