In the Thick of It

It’s been a long time since I posted, and I don’t even know exactly where to begin. The last I left you, I was concentrating on the Year of Me. Well, that has been nearly impossible to accomplish. Poke finally got a job, and now he refuses to take the boys on a regular basis. I have to haggle and negotiate with him every week. So yeah, he is giving me a little bit of child support, but he’s not seeing the kids. This continues to be a no-win situation for everyone except Poke. Typical.

I wish we could move forward with the divorce; unfortunately that is impossible right now thanks to the house having gone into foreclosure. Obviously my Go-Fund me didn’t work, Poke blew his 401k, and I don’t have $8k just lying around. For now we will just live for free until they force us out, but in the meantime we are going to try and file for bankruptcy to see if there is a way we can somehow save the house so that the boys and I don’t have to move and so I can keep my business. That means no divorce until after the bankruptcy is done.

As for the “doing things for myself”, I have been …meh…¬†with that. I slacked off on my diet really badly, but I am trying to adhere via a different route. Instead of completely cutting out all meats, I am cutting out red meat and pork, and sticking to chicken and seafood. A low-purine diet allows for some chicken/seafood, so it’s not even really “breaking the rules”. It’s kind of weird actually, I used to never crave chicken or seafood, and now I do! I have completely lost my taste for beef and pork, except Phillys… I love Phillys… But I digress. Because I’ve been trying to stick to a mostly vegetarian diet, I have gotten back to more creative cooking. I juiced once. It was gross. I’m going to try again now that the weather is warmer and there is more fresh quality produce available. I have done some spiralizing, and actually got rid of 90% of my pasta. I want to do a low-carb thing, just because eating a lot of carbs makes me feel gross, but it’s hard to do on a low-purine diet because I’m supposed to eat 6-11 servings per day. Apparently carbs absorb uric acid, which is one of the goals of this diet. Ugh.

I tried getting into dating, and I still really want to date… Unfortunately it seems that the quality of man just isn’t there anymore. I’ve talked to probably a hundred guys, and I’ve had ONE date. They want sex only. They’re not interested in a girl with kids. They send unwanted dick pics. If I refuse to meet them RIGHT NOW for “a date” (aka sex), they call me names. They plan a date with me, and then never show or I never hear from them after we make a plan. I was talking to a guy for a couple months and I thought it was going somewhere, then he stopped talking to me and I found out he chose someone else over me. I was talking to another guy, he came over and hung out one night, then ghosted. A few weeks later he got ahold of me, apologized, and came over again. When he was leaving, he said “I’ll see you later tonight” and I’ve never heard from him again. The only guy who is consistent is that Marine I told you guys about, JK. At least I know what to expect (or not) from him. Friends have told me to try Match, because I was meeting all the winners on Plenty of Fish, but I don’t know. I feel like paying to meet someone online is the lowest of the low, and I just don’t think I’ve reached that level of pathetic yet.

When I was thinking I might be dating more often, I went ahead and updated my wardrobe a bit. I haven’t lost any weight, but I’m not trying, so that’s fine. I am comfortable with my body for the first time in a long time, and I think it’s because I joined a BBW group on Facebook. There are dudes in there who are legitimately attracted to chicks like me, and that’s amazing. All my life I’ve been taught that no man will be into a fat girl, but I guess it’s not actually true.

So, like the title says, I feel like I am really in the thick of it right now. Some horrible shit is behind me, and there is more horrible shit to come. I cry nearly every day. I had actually gotten back to drinking nearly every night, at least 3-4 nights a week, but as of this Sunday I am stopping that and going back to only drinking on the weekend. As great as the sleep was after a bottle of wine, the sleeping pills accomplish almost the same greatness with zero calories or health risks. I have tried so hard to remove all the negative from my life, including a current sabbatical from Facebook. I had to take a break from all the bullshit. I’ll go back on in a week or so, check things out, and if I’m feeling any toxicity radiating from there, I’m going to be out again. It’s just not worth it.

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Low Sodium Challenge

I went to the doctor on Tuesday because I thought I had an umbilical hernia – turns out, I was correct, and that means surgery. Not happy about that,
but I can deal with it, as I’ve had two successful C-Sections. The really¬†really bad news was that my BP, which is normally incredibly low (we’re talking 110/55 here), has spiked to 142/96. Now, it’s true that I have been more stressed in the past five months since I was at the doctor than ever before. But it’s also true that I have been eating more fast food and processed food than ever before in my entire life. I used to be a 2-3x a week fast/processed food eater, and before this week I’d gotten up to every day, at least one if not two meals per day. Thinking about it, and actually writing it out, makes me feel so gross. I’ve also gained six pounds in the past five months, which is not good at all.

heartSo my doctor told me for the next month, until my appointment on December 28th, I am to follow the DASH Diet. I am tracking my food intake on My Fitness Pal, and I am posting daily photos of my meals to my Facebook in order to hold myself accountable.

Thus far it hasn’t been too bad, 2313mg yesterday on my first try. I’m aiming for 1500mg. I think that once I get all the regular/high sodium foods out of the house, combined with giving up fast foods, I won’t have a problem staying under 2000mg at least. Today is going to be a bad day because I finished up some deli ham and guacamole for breakfast! But as I said on my Facebook post, I’m not going to beat myself up because I feel that giving up fast/processed foods is the biggest key to lowering my BP.

Follow me on My Fitness Pal: Rock_Kowgurl

Follow me on Facebook: Tales of a Play-Date Dropout

Easy Weeknight Pasta Meal

I had an abundance of fresh produce that was about to turn, so I decided to use it all up in one meal. I went with pasta, as it lends itself to many different flavors and textures, and is very simple to make.

wpid-collage_20150923183418149.jpgFirst, I cooked the pasta and set it aside. I used radiatori so that the ridges on the noodles would catch all the tasty goodness of the vegetables. Next, I chopped up tomatoes, red peppers, and banana peppers, and then I added a heaping spoonful of minced garlic. I tossed those into the pot I used for boiling the pasta, added a little salt, pepper, and olive oil, and sauteed until the tomatoes were just starting to break down. At this point I added some sliced black olives and a green onion. I didn’t want those to get cooked too much, which is why I added them near the end. Finally I put the pasta back into the pot and stirred everything together for a few minutes, until the pasta was heated through. I served it with a huge hunk of crusty garlic bread and a sprinkling of parmesan. Even JI, Mr. Picky, enjoyed the meal!

You can add chicken to the dish if you’re into that kind of thing, or you can eliminate the cheese if you want to make it vegan. There are tons of options for this dish!

Fried Zucchini

I love love love zucchini… but only if it is in something, like zucchini bread, or fried. The other day I found myself in possession of two small zucchinis, and since I didn’t feel like making bread, I decided to fry it. Also, I’m trying to get JI to try new foods, and Iwpid-collage_20151002090426006_20151002090514834.jpg thought maybe he’d be more interested in something that looked like a chip than bread with green flecks… I was wrong. He ate one teeny nibble and hated them. Whatever! I got to eat the rest!

Whenever I fry, I used the standard breading procedure: flour, egg wash, breadcrumbs. For the zucchini, I seasoned my flour with generic Italian seasoning, mixed one egg with 4T milk, and ran two cups of Italian croutons through the food processor. Dip, dip, dip! I deep fried them for 2 minutes – if you don’t have a deep fryer, you could easily heat oil in a deep pan and use that instead; make sure you have enough to cover the slices. Set on a paper towel to drain, but serve immediately because they get cold quickly! I like to dip mine in ranch. Yum!